


Not Just A Wife

by Swords_and_Parasols



Category: The Hour
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-28
Updated: 2013-04-28
Packaged: 2017-12-09 20:12:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,478
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/777539
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Swords_and_Parasols/pseuds/Swords_and_Parasols
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Marnie knew Hector Madden was a broken man before she accepted him, just like she knew she would marry him long before he did.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not Just A Wife

**Author's Note:**

  * For [mockerybird (csillagpor)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/csillagpor/gifts).



> Betas: scintilla10 and Drea

Marnie knew Hector Madden was a broken man before she accepted him, just like she knew she would marry him long before he did. He was well over ten years her senior, handsome, charismatic, broken, and empty. And she wanted him with all the fervor of a twenty-year-old who has never been denied. So she made him hers.

From the beginning, she'd known he wouldn't be faithful. He did try, for the first year or so, and she loved him more for the attempt, but she had seen too many men like him pass through her father's door-men like her father himself-to expect anything else. Men with the power to draw others to them, to fascinate with their charm and wit, but also men who were weak, who were unable to find purpose on their own, and who needed others to provide it for them.

When she met Bel Rowley and Freddie Lyon, she saw a kindred spirit in Mr. Lyon, and it was he who evoked her sympathies. Like Marnie herself, Mr. Lyon found himself permanently tied to the one person he knew he was meant to be with, a person who always sought others, afraid to turn to the person who understood them best. He was also so terribly, terribly funny, his biting comments on the actions of others often reflecting her own unspoken thoughts. 

And then there was Bel Rowley.

She knew Hector believed it was Kiki Delaine that had been the end for her, but in truth, it was Bel Rowley. Marnie had told Miss Rowley that she liked her, and was glad that Hector had chosen her for his latest affair, and it was true, just as it was true that she wished to be friends with Miss Rowley. Hector's previous affairs had been with women who were inferior to him both socially and professionally, and who felt no personal attachment to him. Just as those young women viewed the secretarial jobs they often held to be temporary positions, they saw Hector as a temporary amusement, a beautiful, charming man to enjoy, but not one to keep, or to expect to keep them.

But not Bel Rowley. Miss Rowley was beautiful, intellectual and educated, Marnie's equal and Hector's professional superior, and and unlike either of them, she had carved out her own place in the world with no apparent help from others, something neither Hector nor her father could ever truly claim to have done. She did not envy Miss Rowley, nor did she want to be her. She could not live Miss Rowley's life or hope to succeed in Miss Rowley's profession, but then, neither could Miss Rowley could live her life. 

She knew that, like all the others, part of why Miss Rowley wanted Hector was that he was temporary, he was unavailable for more than a fleeting relationship, and she knew that the danger of the affair was part of the appeal for Miss Rowley, who would never choose a married man over the career she had fought so hard for. In truth, that was one of the things about Miss Rowley that Marnie admired, that commitment to the place she had created for herself. But Hector, foolish man, had convinced himself that he was in love with her. He wasn't, and she and Miss Rowley both knew it, and in the end, he had returned to where he belonged. But that joy was not as long lived as she had hoped it would be. Hector's indiscretions grew more frequent after that, as did her long nights alone. It was almost as if a floodgate had opened for Hector, one that had been kept closed before only by his attempts to convince himself that he had successfully kept her in ignorance of his activities.

Kiki Delaine wasn't the reason, she was simply the moment. Marnie had told Miss Rowley that she loved Hector, warts and all, and it was true. For all his faults, she loved him, and always would. But it wasn't enough anymore. 

Hector thought he kept he kept his private and professional lives separate, but in truth, her father's influence had carried much of his career, and the more his popularity grew, the less he remembered who he owed it to. Night after night, she either waited interminably, or listened to him blithely speak of his successes, seeking her input less and less.

And one day, she realized that she wanted what Bel Rowley had. Her own place in the world, outside of the perfect wife and daughter. She wasn't foolish enough to believe she could do what Miss Rowley did-she couldn't be Bel Rowley any more than Bel Rowley could be Marnie Madden-but she also knew that the world of broadcast television was evolving and growing, and that eventually, something would emerge that suited her.

When it did, she did not once mention her father or husband, nor did she tell either of them about it beforehand, knowing that both would interfere on her behalf. ITV knew of them, of course, and she knew that they were well aware of her connections, but she could never be accused of using them. Hector and her father used their connections at every opportunity, and she was determined that she would not begin her career as they lived theirs. She wanted-needed-ITV to want her for what she herself was able to provide them.

And then there was the moment. That Hector had begun his affair with Miss Rowley under her father's roof had been bad enough, but now his tryst with the dancer had invaded their home, in front of their guests. She knew he wasn't guilty of what he was accused-for all his faults, violence against a woman was not in his nature-but he had still created the opening. And when he created that opening, that invasion into her home, Marnie could no longer force herself to keep other doors open.

She had not intended to have an affair of her own. Alistair's interest was immediately evident to her, but he was not the first man to notice her since her marriage, or the first to hope that she shared in her husband's habits. Nor, frankly, was he the first man to arouse her own interests, though he was the first one with whom she decided to act on that interest, and to allow it to run its course. He had much of the charm and charisma that had once drawn her to Hector, and was certainly an attractive man, but unlike Hector, he understood the importance of discretion.

She had suspected for some time that Hector was unable to have children, and had given him as many opportunities as he could to tell her, but he never did. It was possible, of course, that she was wrong, but it happened so quickly with Alistair that she thought it must be true. Alistair accepted the end of their affair with grace, as she knew he would. More grace than she felt like showing at the loss of her job, much as she hid it.

It hurt in a way that she hadn't expected. She knew her show wouldn't last more than a few years before she would have to get ITV to allow her to change her formula, or risk cancelation. A gimmick could only last for so long, after all, and eventually guessing a dinner guest' identity by the food made for them would lose it's charm.. But she had hoped to end it on her own terms, having chosen a new challenge for herself. But she would persevere, and a new challenge had already found her, a challenge she had longed for for so long. She never thought to pretend her baby was Hector's, and had never been more terrified than in those few seconds before he responded to her revelation.

She didn't know what lay ahead for either of them, or for their child. What she had now was what she had always wanted, but she also wanted more. She had wanted Hector, and he was hers, warts and all. She had wanted a child, and now she would have one. She had wanted a place in his world that was separate from him, and she had found one, only to have it taken from her. But she would find a new one, whether beside him or across from him, and it would be hers, just as he was. Hector had told her she was a clever girl, and she was, but that wasn't all she was, nor was she simply a wife or a daughter. She was all these things, and she was proud to be them, but she was also more than that. She had only begun to explore the possibilities open to her, and she had a lifetime to continue that exploration.


End file.
